cry baby.

I’ve been having these moments lately when I catch myself crying. Pretty randomly…just tears…uncontrollable tears. I can honestly say that driving and crying don’t mix…especially not with a toddler in the back seat. Blurry eyes and shaky hands aren’t the techniques mentioned in Traffic Safety classes. A banner circulates in my mind blinking… “This isn’t me...this crying crap.” Watery eyes start and I suddenly realize that I am pregnant and this is most likely a result of hormones and even with that actuality I still can‘t stop. I didn’t have this problem during my pregnancy with Landon. I was happy. Am I not happy now? I think I am. I feel like I am, but these hormones are kicking my ass. A song on the radio, a sentimental book, spilt milk? Ahh, this is nothing to cry over!









So in my downtime from crying, I had 2 recent doctor appointments. The first was with a Perinatal Cardiologist. Jordana got her EKG to make sure that she doesn’t have a hole in her tiny heart like her big brother did. Annnd she doesn’t! They took a close look at her heart from all angles and it’s looking good. They didn’t even give us the, “there could still be something and we just can’t see it” or the “we couldn’t get the right angles so you’re gonna have to come back” schpeil that we always seem to get. They actually gave us a definitive, “we don’t see a thing wrong with her….heart.” What they did see something wrong with was her abdomen. It’s small and they’re going to need to keep an eye on it. Having an abdomen in the 10^th percentile sets off a red flag that there could be something hindering her growth. It could have been a lack of blood flow to the baby, bad placenta, bad umbilical cord, but they checked all of those things and found that they all look good. I need to do the standard “take it easy and eat as much as you can“…“keep taking your vitamins and minimize stress“….and they will keep an eye on Jojo….with hopes that she will grow. All bets are on her just being small, because her parents are small, but we aren’t taking any chances.





The next appointment was with my OBGYN. This was the standard- pee in a cup and step on the scale party that we always get to go to every 4 weeks. I spoke with the OB about Jordana’s small abdomen and she said that if she were to guess she would say that she is small, because I am small. She pronounced my abdomen to be in the 10^th percentile as well. But, we’re going back for another ultrasound in 2 weeks. They want to check to make sure that Jordana is in fact gaining weight in there. Jojo is in the 35^th percentile overall- which is small, but by no means alarming…it’s just her abdomen. Maybe she’ll just be lucky and have the tiny waist that most women dream of. They will also begin doing Nonstress Tests on me at 32 weeks just to make sure that Jordana is not stressing out in the womb. Sometimes small babies do. I’m sure these Nonstress tests will do nothing, but to ironically cause me to stress.

So, we will hope that we can keep Jordana in my belly as long as possible...my OB seems to think that there is no way that I will make it to the 39 weeks that my Cesarean is scheduled for…and in her not-so-humble opinion I “probably won’t be able to make it” to the 37 weeks that Landon was born during. Here’s to hoping that she’s just wrong and preparing me for the worst.





In the meantime, I’m just living the day to day life like always. Following this special path that has been laid out for me and my family. Hoping, wishing and dreaming of what’s to come next for us. And I will also pepper this slightly depressing blog with pictures of our Summer…to show you that there has been more smiles than tears.