"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
~Fr. Alfred D'Souza
Life as we know it is back. Yes. Matt is back to work. I look at the quote above and think that it is so, so true and I believe in living life that way, but when your husband is out of work for 9 months it can be hard to remember. It was great to have him around for the end of my pregnancy and the beginning of Landon's life. Now that Matt is back on the job we are feeling re-blessed by karma and its timing.
Life can really get you down at times, but as they say, it is worth it. You learn from struggles and they bring you closer as a family. Through the pregnancy and then recovery from surgery I think I spun myself in to a blur (those pain meds did not help). I am finally able to let go of the dissapointment that came along with child birth. I was so mad at my C-Section until recently. I was mad that I had to be in so much pain for the beginning of Landon's life that holding him didn't feel good to me. I was mad that I had never had a chance of pushing him out, but nobody told me. I was mad that I would be stuck with a scar as a reminder of my failure to be a real woman and just have a baby the "natural" way.
But, lately I have come to terms with it. I did what I could in the beginning and looking back it makes me feel stronger to know that I woke up in excruciating pain and breastfed every 2 hours for the first month just to put his weight on. I am proud of my scar and that too reminds me of how strong I can be. I never thought I would look at it that way, but I can now and truthfully it's kind of a reminder of something Landon and I went through together. 32 hours of labor and boy did he try his little heart out to get passed my deformed pelvis. It was the beginning of a strong bond. And, now that I have researched it enough I no longer despise the Doctors and Nurses for letting me labor for so long. They never would have known beforehand without an X-Ray that my pelvis was mis-shaped. Ah, forgiving them is good for my soul.
For a while I kinda felt like life was spinning around me and I could never seem to catch up and see straight. Now I'm back and ready to rock out life as a stay at home mom---alone. Whoa, it's a lot of work! I always thought that stay at home moms were lucky since they didn't have to go in to work and clock in. Now I know that you are just constantly at work and never getting a paycheck. I never saw myself as the "type" to be a stay at home mom/wife. I have always been an over--achiever academically and in the workplace, but now that I have a child I realize that they are only little for a very short time.
Work can wait.
As a stay at home you're pretty isolated and your entire day revolves around taking care of your family...you can only hope that the life that you make with your child makes up for the lack of financial gain. Luckily for me I have a husband who works hard enough to make what most families earn with both people working and he is happy to have me raising Landon instead of anyone else.
Currently, I'm working on getting back in to shape. I went halfway through P90X (45 days) and now I am doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. I needed a shorter workout now that I am home alone. I can fit it in for 20 minutes while Landon naps. I would also like to get Insanity and borrow my sister's Brazil Butt Lift. I plan to complete a full 90 days of P90X when Landon is old enough to play on his own for over an hour. I just feel better mentally- along with physically- when I workout.
Matt is working 4 tens, so that's not so bad. 3 day weekends...Summer is coming and we are officially, finally, about to be, alllmoost...on our feet again. Life.is.good.
~Fr. Alfred D'Souza
Life as we know it is back. Yes. Matt is back to work. I look at the quote above and think that it is so, so true and I believe in living life that way, but when your husband is out of work for 9 months it can be hard to remember. It was great to have him around for the end of my pregnancy and the beginning of Landon's life. Now that Matt is back on the job we are feeling re-blessed by karma and its timing.
Life can really get you down at times, but as they say, it is worth it. You learn from struggles and they bring you closer as a family. Through the pregnancy and then recovery from surgery I think I spun myself in to a blur (those pain meds did not help). I am finally able to let go of the dissapointment that came along with child birth. I was so mad at my C-Section until recently. I was mad that I had to be in so much pain for the beginning of Landon's life that holding him didn't feel good to me. I was mad that I had never had a chance of pushing him out, but nobody told me. I was mad that I would be stuck with a scar as a reminder of my failure to be a real woman and just have a baby the "natural" way.
But, lately I have come to terms with it. I did what I could in the beginning and looking back it makes me feel stronger to know that I woke up in excruciating pain and breastfed every 2 hours for the first month just to put his weight on. I am proud of my scar and that too reminds me of how strong I can be. I never thought I would look at it that way, but I can now and truthfully it's kind of a reminder of something Landon and I went through together. 32 hours of labor and boy did he try his little heart out to get passed my deformed pelvis. It was the beginning of a strong bond. And, now that I have researched it enough I no longer despise the Doctors and Nurses for letting me labor for so long. They never would have known beforehand without an X-Ray that my pelvis was mis-shaped. Ah, forgiving them is good for my soul.
For a while I kinda felt like life was spinning around me and I could never seem to catch up and see straight. Now I'm back and ready to rock out life as a stay at home mom---alone. Whoa, it's a lot of work! I always thought that stay at home moms were lucky since they didn't have to go in to work and clock in. Now I know that you are just constantly at work and never getting a paycheck. I never saw myself as the "type" to be a stay at home mom/wife. I have always been an over--achiever academically and in the workplace, but now that I have a child I realize that they are only little for a very short time.
Work can wait.
As a stay at home you're pretty isolated and your entire day revolves around taking care of your family...you can only hope that the life that you make with your child makes up for the lack of financial gain. Luckily for me I have a husband who works hard enough to make what most families earn with both people working and he is happy to have me raising Landon instead of anyone else.
Currently, I'm working on getting back in to shape. I went halfway through P90X (45 days) and now I am doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. I needed a shorter workout now that I am home alone. I can fit it in for 20 minutes while Landon naps. I would also like to get Insanity and borrow my sister's Brazil Butt Lift. I plan to complete a full 90 days of P90X when Landon is old enough to play on his own for over an hour. I just feel better mentally- along with physically- when I workout.
Matt is working 4 tens, so that's not so bad. 3 day weekends...Summer is coming and we are officially, finally, about to be, alllmoost...on our feet again. Life.is.good.
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